HomePage - Transforming Toddlerhood

Overcome
the challenges. Experience
the joy.

The toddler years can be challenging. But they don’t have to be this hard. Here, you’ll find practical, ready-for-action strategies to navigate toddlerhood.

The

truth

about

toddlerhood

(it's not as terrible as you think)

Terrible twos. Threenagers. Adorable dictators. The challenges of this stage have resulted in some colorful characterizations. But in reality, behaviors often labeled “bad” are actually a normal and important part of this critical developmental period.

If we understand this development, we can better navigate (and influence) the behavior that comes with it.

90% of a child's brain develops by age 5.
Their neural connections are being made at a rate of a million per second. No wonder they need naps.
Click Here
Toddlers are built to try everything (including your patience).
Toddlers are physiologically driven to explore, experimenting with the world around them and testing boundaries, capabilities, and reactions to their actions.
Click Here
They’re developing sense-of-self.
Toddlers become aware that they are individuals. Which means they are separate from their parents. This is where many power struggles are born.
Click Here
Emotional health starts here.
Toddlers are experiencing big emotions. It is vitally important that they are taught to create a healthy relationship with their feelings, so they can grow to be resilient.
Click Here
So does your relationship.
Parent-child interactions during the toddler years set the foundation for those relationships for years to come.
Click Here
Previous
Next

Hi,

I'm Devon.

So happy you're here!

I’m a ICF certified coach and the Founder of Transforming Toddlerhood. I’m passionate about empowering toddler parents to transform their frustration, fear and self-doubt into confidence so they can overcome behavioral challenges, experience joy and create a parent-child relationship that lasts a lifetime through connection.

Today, we’re a community of more than 100,000 parents and caregivers from around the world.

Ready to start

the transformation?

No matter where you are in your parenting journey, we have something to support you.

End Power
Struggles

Real-life, ready-for action strategies that you can implement right now to start seeing change—for free!

Toddler Parenting
Starter Kit

The perfect place to begin transforming your parenting and your toddler’s behavior.

Transforming Toddlerhood
Parenting Academy

Everything you need to overcome the challenges of toddlerhood and become the Loving Leader & Guide™ you envision for your child.

We're on Instagram @Transforming Toddlerhood

Follow for daily toddler parenting tips, advice and inspiration.

Yesterday was Mother's Day and we took the time to recognize all of the hardworking, exhausted, and brave Moms in this community!

Today, I want to recognize ALL of the parents and caregivers who are here looking for support. You are not alone in feeling all these things and more. Parenting is hard AND you are not a failure!

Toddlerhood has challenges that are unique. Your baby goes from happy go lucky to a strong willed toddler seemingly overnight. All the friends and family who were so eager to come and hold your newborn are no longer offering their support as readily. It can leave some parents feeling isolated and as though it’s only your home that feels wild.

These are just a few of the most common feelings that clients from around the world share with me daily. The list goes on! Each family is unique and all challenges are met differently.

I want you to know:
❤️YOU ARE ENOUGH
❤️YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE HUMAN
❤️YOUR FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS DON'T MAKE YOU BAD OR WRONG
❤️YOU ARE NOT FAILING

Instead of beating yourself on the inside, I invite you to embrace what is. Acceptance without without placing a good/bad judgement on it. You are allowed to be where you are at. Don’t forget to acknowledge your feelings, they’re valid!  Having these feelings don’t make you weak, they make you human. 

Next time you are feeling overwhelmed with parenting and life, I invite you to shift your mindset from I'm failing to I'M HUMAN AND I'M LEARNING.

Each day (and even every moment) is a new opportunity to learn, grow and take a step towards the future you envision as a parent. I empower you to step back and use the clarity to create something new where the old isn’t working. This could be asking a relative for babysitting support. Or rethinking the meal plan for the week. It could even mean trying a new approach if you realize something doesn't feel right or isn't resonating with your child. 

🌟Tag a mama, dad or other caregiver that needs this reminder and support today!!!

Are you hard on yourself when you get overwhelmed with parenting and life? Where could you create something new today?
You are SEEN, you are HEARD, and you are LOVED.

Take what you need today and share the love with another Mom who needs it too ↓

❤️ A reminder that your little ones are sleeping soundly, worry-free, and safe because you were up all night comforting them.

❤️ A reminder that dishes and laundry are just THINGS. And if they're piled up high, it's okay. They can be done tomorrow or the next day. You can do they as you need them if you can't tackle them all at once.

❤️ A reminder that you are strong and there will always be a special place in your heart for your sweet baby.

❤️ A reminder that you are allowed to have privacy and want a few moments to yourself. It's not selfish.

❤️ A reminder that parenthood is challenging but it won't ALWAYS be as challenging as it is in this moment.

❤️ A reminder that you are doing your best for you and your family and your hard word is what's keeping it together.

❤️ A reminder that you are teaching your little ones what it means to be independent and self-sufficient and proud.

Remember to LOVE yourself and your perfectly imperfect journey through motherhood.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Tell me which reminder you needed to see today and tag a Mom who needs to see this ↓
Let's talk about unconditional love ↓

The degree to which you struggle to love your child unconditionally may reflect the degree to which you are unwilling to love yourself unconditionally.

💗 Read that again.💗

We are all allowed to make mistakes AND still be loved. Even when it seems as though your toddler is “being bad” or doing something “against you on purpose” your little one is saying “I’m giving you my hardest moment because I love you the most.”. They are always seeking your unconditional love and acceptance of who they are at their core. Just like you and me. We all have the same needs.

Showing a young child compassion during a hard moment isn’t spoiling them or reinforcing bad behavior. It’s actually the way that we show them our unconditional love. Just as giving ourselves compassion when we feel triggered, frustration or as though we aren't enough is an act of love.

With Mother's Day tomorrow it's a great moment to stop and reflect:
💗How are you doing with giving yourself self-love and compassion? 
💗What needs do you have that are going unmet?
💗How can you acknowledge yourself for all that you do as a parent?

Practicing connection with yourself will create space for you to connect with your toddler when they are having a hard time coping. Once we work together to build a connection with our toddler based on unconditional love and the understanding that NOTHING they do will make us love them any less, we will strengthen our bond and be able to understand them on a deeper level.

Drop a ❤️ for unconditional love for your toddler AND yourself. How are you practicing this?
Moms, I see you. 

Dads, I hear you.

Grandparents and Nannies, I'm here for you.

It doesn't matter what your family situation is or how old your child is, one thing we all know to be true is that parenting is a ROLLERCOASTER. The toddler years are especially challenging because it's the first time as parents and caregivers that we are undoubtedly faced with things like temper tantrums, power struggles, "NO!", "WHY?", hitting, yelling, and sharing challenges. It's a whole new world of development, behavior and discovery. 

We not only have to figure out how to understand it all, but to teach our toddlers the skills they need to understand it themselves and to be able to regulate their emotions. They're becoming little people of their own and we are responsible for being their Loving Leader & Guide ™️ AND keeping our own sanity. It's hard, it can feel impossible, it can be confusing, and it can be lonely. And when things go awry, it can feel like you are doing a bad job. 

THE FEELING WILL PASS. YOU ARE ENOUGH!

You are not a bad parent, you are not doing it wrong, you are not alone.

It's OKAY if your kids had a bowl of cereal for dinner because you didn't have the energy to cook.

It's OKAY if you lost your temper and yelled at your toddler for calling your name 30 times in a row just to ask for a snack.

It's OKAY if you skipped story time before bed because you were about to have a meltdown after a long day.

Some days, toddlerhood will feel like it's the most magical time in you and your child's lives and some days it will feel like you won't make it out alive. That's parenthood ❤️

And you can do this. You love your child and your child loves you.

Tag a friend who needs to see this and tell me the UPs and DOWNs you've experienced this week. 👇

🌟 If you need support on your parenting journey to help you see that toddlerhood doesn't always have to be so difficult, then I invite you to click the link in my bio and look into these 3 ways I can help 👉🏼The Toddler Parenting Starter Kit, Mini 1:1 Parenting Strategy Sessions, and the Toddler Parenting Academy Membership. Details on each at the link in my bio or dm me for details! 🌟

Repost @the.dentistmom
🌟DISMISSIVE POSITIVITY🌟 Sometimes we unknowingly dismiss our toddler's feelings in an attempt to make them feel better. However, this just pushes all of the feelings deep down inside to brew. And anyone who has spent time with a toddler knows, their feelings always bubble out - often in an explosive way - just like for us adults!

When we dismiss a child's emotions we unintentionally communicate that that their feelings aren't important or that it's wrong to feel that way. So instead of supporting them in regulating emotions, we can accidentally create a negative relationship with emotions based on shame and the fear of being unaccepted or unloved.

EXAMPLE: You're at the park with your toddler and she falls while running. She calls you, crying, and you ask what happened. She tells you she fell while sobbing. You look at her knee (no visible cut or scrape) and tell her "Oh you're fine! There's no cut. You're going to be okay." She continues to cry and says "It hurts!" or "I want to go home." At this point, you might be inclined to say "You're fine! There's nothing there, there's no need to be upset. Why don't you go back to playing with the other kids."

You may not see this a big deal and or feel she is overreacting. However, you're dismissing her feelings of wanting to be recognized and comforted. You may be unintentionally communicating that what happened to her wasn't severe enough to get your full attention. 

Alternatively, you can try creating a connection and acknowledging her regardless of how you judge the situation. Offering your support and comfort is all it could take for your toddler to gain her confidence back and be ready to go once again! It takes a lot of courage and patience to be present and understanding of your toddler's full spectrum of emotions, even if they are different from your own. To accept what is. But I know you have that within you! 

My invitation is to start with yourself. Allow yourself to feel your feelings instead of resisting them so that you can do the same for your toddler.

✨ So tell me, how have you been feeling? Do you feel like your emotional state is causing you to dismiss your toddler's (or your own) feelings? ✨
THIS foundational mindset shift is the key to navigating toddlerhood with more joy and ease. 🥰

When we talk about mindset, we're usually referring to the shift from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. This means dropping the habit of thinking that things are the way they are, that we get what we get and we just have to deal with it, and that our toddlers are the way they are because toddlerhood is terrible. With a growth mindset, we're able to open our minds and hearts to the idea that things can and will change, that the results we hope for will become reality with effort and practice, and that no one is BAD or being bad intentionally. 

👀When we relate to a toddler as just giving us a hard time, we are more likely to take their behavior personally and be triggered by it. When we are triggered, we are more likely to yell, spank, make a threat or use punishments to deal with the behavior. 

However, something magical happens when we shift from the mindset of, "my toddler is giving me a hard time" to "my toddler is HAVING a hard time in this moment". It supports us in softening our hearts and the way we parent. It makes connection possible. Connection is the backbone of every relationship, including parenting! 🤝

Since yesterday was National Spank Out day and all week I have been talking about alternative ways of thinking about, reacting to, and understanding toddler behavior, I want to know...have you felt more inspired to make this foundational mind shift mind for embracing positive, respectful developmental appropriate tools and strategies? And stopping the use of spanking as a parenting tool altogether?

Tell me in the comments! ↓

🌟 If you're ready to create lasting change that will dramatically impact the course of your parenting and your relationship with your children for years to come, then I invite you to join the waitlist for the Toddler Parenting Community! This is the perfect place for parents and caregivers looking for personal, one-on-one support and guidance and a fully customized, supportive program that addresses specific needs and challenges. Sign up at the link in my bio!🌟
🌟Do you feel like a broken record all day trying to get your toddler to listen?🌟

Using fear (threats, yelling, spanking) and shame ("Why are you being so bad!" "You never listen!") may create what looks like compliance in the moment. However,  It doesn't get to the root of the behavior or teach skills so you will see the behavior pop right back up as soon as you turn around.  Fear becomes the motivator for the child to “behave” which oftentimes leads to avoidance and resentment on the inside. It also breaks down trust in the parent-child relationship and can create push back and rebellion long-term. 

When the fear neuropathways are activated in the brain a child's feelings and emotions become MORE dysregulated which means you will see more dysregulated behavior such as spitting, hitting, kicking and screaming. This isn't your toddler being bad. This your toddler feeling out of control on the inside and needing your support. 

When in the middle of a stress response we are cut off from our "upstairs" brain which is responsible for impulse control and regulation. This is where the learning happens. This is true for adults and children. When a child is scared they aren't able to learn skills 

Oftentimes, toddlers are developmentally unable to meet our expectations and get punished for it. Remember, the part of the brain responsible for impulse control is very underdeveloped in toddlerhood.

A better way to achieve influence is to address the feeling, emotion or need underneath the behavior. As well as teaching your toddler skills that support their growth and development WITHIN YOUR BOUNDARIES.

At its root, discipline is about learning. Teaching a child what to do is much more effective than punishing them for the things they are doing wrong. Our role is to be a child’s Loving Leader & Guide™ through these early years.

Do you notice a difference in your toddler's reaction when you approach their behavior with curiosity instead of anger/fear/threats?

🌟Take a look at the Toddler Parenting Starter Kit at the link in my bio and get all the resources you need to get started on your positive parenting journey for only $27!🌟

Raising Toddlers Conference

Overcome toddlerhood challenges, nurture development and create confidence in your parenting skills.

Fourth Edition of the only online parenting event that focuses solely on the toddler years!

5

days of learning and growth with parents and caregivers

25+

experts on toddler behavior, development, health and parenting

50+

effectiveness tools and strategies to transform your parenting

heart-in-talk-bubble-icon@2x

Praise for

Transforming Toddlerhood

We love positive reinforcement! See what our community members have to say.