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Wednesday, March 30th - Sunday, April 3rd

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days of learning and growth for
parents and caregivers of kids
ages 1-5

experts on toddler behavior, health development and parenting

effective tools and strategies to transform your parenting

Overcome
the challenges. Experience
the joy.

The toddler years can be challenging. But they don’t have to be this hard. Here, you’ll find practical, ready-for-action strategies to navigate toddlerhood.

The

truth

about

toddlerhood

(it's not as terrible as you think)

Terrible twos. Threenagers. Adorable dictators. The challenges of this stage have resulted in some colorful characterizations. But in reality, behaviors often labeled “bad” are actually a normal and important part of this critical developmental period.

If we understand this development, we can better navigate (and influence) the behavior that comes with it.

90% of a child's brain develops by age 5.

Their neural connections are being made at a rate of a million per second. No wonder they need naps.

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Toddlers are built to try everything (including your patience).

Toddlers are physiologically driven to explore, experimenting with the world around them and testing boundaries, capabilities, and reactions to their actions.

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They’re developing sense-of-self.

Toddlers become aware that they are individuals. Which means they are separate from their parents. This is where many power struggles are born.

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Emotional health starts here.

Toddlers are experiencing big emotions. It is vitally important that they are taught to create a healthy relationship with their feelings, so they can grow to be resilient.

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So does your relationship.

Parent-child interactions during the toddler years set the foundation for those relationships for years to come.

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Hi,

I'm Devon.

So happy you're here!

I’m a ICF certified coach and the Founder of Transforming Toddlerhood. I’m passionate about empowering toddler parents to transform their frustration, fear and self-doubt into confidence so they can overcome behavioral challenges, experience joy and create a parent-child relationship that lasts a lifetime through connection.

Today, we’re a community of more than 500,000 parents and caregivers from around the world.

Ready to start

the transformation?

No matter where you are in your parenting journey, we have something to support you.

End Power
Struggles

Real-life, ready-for action strategies that you can implement right now to start seeing change—for free!

Toddler Parenting
Starter Kit

The perfect place to begin transforming your parenting and your toddler’s behavior.

Toddler Parenting
Toolbox

Everything you need to overcome the challenges of toddlerhood and become the Loving Leader & Guide™ you envision for your child.

We're on Instagram @Transforming Toddlerhood

Follow for daily toddler parenting tips, advice and inspiration.

When your toddler wants something and you need to ...

May 22

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When your toddler wants something and you need to set a limit, it's okay to say NO!

Here's a little tip: Turn the NO into a NO YET or give them the reason why. Then set a limit, validate their feelings about it, and follow through on the limit.

Here's why: Turning a NO into a NOT YET, giving them the reason, setting a limit, then validating their feelings shows that they cannot always get what they want at the moment they ask for it and that it's okay to have big feelings about it. It also teaches them that once a limit is set, it must be followed through on, even if that means you will help them follow through.

Connecting with your toddler to help teach them how to follow through on a limit is what builds trust and reinforces your role as the Loving Leader & Guide™️ and not the dictator.

Remember, it’s your child's job to challenge limits and have big feelings when they stick. It’s developmentally appropriate for them to push back and react.
So it’s your job to support your child in working through their emotions.

Do you feel like it’s difficult to follow through on a limit you’ve set when your toddler has big emotions?

🌟Do you want to learn how to set limits and follow through, even if your toddler says “No”! The Setting Limits With Confidence Workshop at the link in my bio is designed to transform your relationship with setting limits so you can be effective and feel confident and ease some of the struggles of toddlerhood!🌟

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#momtips #parentinghacks #parentingjourney #motherhoodrising #toddler #4yearsold #peacefulparenting #toddlertantrums #realmotherhood #momproblems #honestmomconfessions #honestlymothering

Being a toddler is one of the hardest jobs in the ...

May 20

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Being a toddler is one of the hardest jobs in the world, just as parenting a toddler is one of the hardest jobs in the world!

Imagine 💭 having feelings, emotions, and needs that you don't know how to express.
💭 Having something to say but not knowing the words to use.
💭 Meeting complete strangers who are big and tall and saying hello and not wanting to say anything back.
💭 Being told you have to eat something you don't like/want and not understanding why you have to eat it before you can get up.
💭 Screaming and flailing your arms around because you feel so much frustration then being yelled at to stop right at the moment you're starting to feel better.

Dealing with challenging toddler behavior as the parent can be physically draining and emotionally exhausting😰 but it's equally as much for the child.

So commonly we think our toddler is being bad and there is something ‘wrong’ that needs fixing when faced with this type of behavior. Yet, these behaviors are developmentally normal. There is nothing wrong and these behaviors don't need to be fixed.

Just as there is nothing wrong with you as the parent if you find yourself overwhelmed, yelling, or breaking down in tears. There is always an opportunity to repair the relationship with your toddler, connect, and learn alongside each other because NO toddler nor parent is perfect.

We have the opportunity to be our child's Loving Leader & Guide™️ and show them that we support them in the easeful times and especially the challenging times. It's our job to teach them the coping and life skills they need to work through and regulate their big feelings. And it's also our job to take a break, ask for help, or put our needs first sometimes too.

What struggles are you currently facing with your toddler? What about with yourself?

🌟Follow @transformingtoddlerhood for toddler tips and parenting support!🌟

Today's mantra: ❤️ My child doesn't ...

May 19

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Today's mantra: ❤️ My child doesn't need me to be the perfect parent, my child just needs ME.❤️

Now repeat that to yourself every day when you wake up.

Everyone, especially toddlers, just want to be seen, heard, and
unconditionally loved and accepted. Unconditional love and acceptance for your child start with giving it to yourself first.

Accepting who your child is at their core, relating to them and their greatness no matter their behavior is the foundation of unconditional love. I invite you to practice communicating YOUR unconditional love so that your TODDLER feels emotionally and physically safe in both the easeful and the challenging moments.

After all, toddlerhood can be a wild ride for both you and your LO and experimenting, testing, and losing patience from time to time is to be expected. It takes courage to forgive yourself and your child for being human and to parent with an open heart. 👦🏽👧🏼👦🏻👧🏾

What else would you add to the list? ↓

🌟The Toddler Parenting Starter Kit is a wonderful tool to help you be the best toddler parent you can be, not to be the perfect parent. Perfection doesn't exist! If you're looking for support to overcome the challenges of toddlerhood, take a look at this kit at the link in my bio. 🌟

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#toddlermomlife #toddlermommy #toddlersofig #toddlerproblems #whining #toddlerantics #kidlife #toddlermoments #firsttimemama #tiredparents #parentingtips #reparenting #parentinghelp #parentingstruggles #coparenting #thisis3 #fouryearsold #twoyearsold #transformingtoddlerhood #positivediscipline #toddlerbites #positiveparenting

Is your toddler experimenting with LYING? 🤔
...

May 17

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Is your toddler experimenting with LYING? 🤔

First let me say, telling lies is a developmentally appropriate behavior form toddlers to experiment with and can start to happen as early as age 3 when a toddler realizes they are a separate individual and that you can't read their mind.

What we do NOT want to do when a toddler lies is jump to labels, shame, or punishment to stop the behavior. For example, calling a toddler "bad" for lying. They are simply testing out this newfound freedom and idea that they can tell Mommy something and she can react differently than she normally would.

Teaching a child what to do is much more effective than punishing them for the things they are doing wrong, when most times they do not know it is actually wrong. Our role is to be a child’s Loving Leader & Guide™ through these early years. ❤️

Punishing a child by instilling fear and shame may create what looks like compliance in the moment but doesn't change the behavior long term or teach them why it is not an appropriate behavior.

When you use punishments and fear as a reaction to your toddler telling you something they did or that happened, then they will be afraid of getting in trouble and therefore continue to lie. When you approach your toddler from a place of connection and understanding, they can trust that they can tell you the truth and that they will not be punished or lose your unconditional love.

How do you react when your toddler tells a lie? Do they continue to do it? What can you try differently next time?

🌟Take a look at the Effective Toddler Discipline Workshop at the link in my bio to learn the recipe for effective discipline and how to use it with challenging behavior!🌟

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#toddlermomlife #toddlermommy #toddlersofig #toddlerproblems #whining #toddlerantics #kidlife #toddlermoments #firsttimemama #tiredparents #parentingtips #reparenting #parentinghelp #parentingstruggles #coparenting #thisis3 #fouryearsold #twoyearsold #transformingtoddlerhood #positivediscipline #toddlerbites #positiveparenting

WHAT IS YOUR TODDLER HEARING WHEN YOU TALK?
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May 16

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WHAT IS YOUR TODDLER HEARING WHEN YOU TALK?

Sometimes our words unintentionally communicate things like shame, blame, guilt, judgment, and fear. Done repeatedly it can break down the connection and trust in the relationship with your child.

It can send the message that 🧑💭 “when I make a mistake, Mom doesn’t care about me.” Or, "when I do this, it means I'm a bad kid." Of course, that’s not the message you intend to send with your words.

Toddlers need to know that your love isn’t tied to their behavior.❤️

The truth is you are human!! Sometimes you get triggered and your emotions will hijack your words.💥 It’s hard to move past your feelings when your toddler has done something particularly frustrating.

When we honor and then rise above our own big emotions, that’s where we can create connection before setting a limit.

We can do this by:
→ Pausing. Take your own moment to calm down. Make sure everyone is safe. Remember, “This is not an emergency.”
→ Connecting. Return to your toddler to address what had happened. Remind yourself what your toddler is capable of at this stage of their life experiences and brain development.
→ Moving forward together. Be clear about the limit that was crossed and go from there, together on the same team, to learn new skills and find a way forward..

No matter what, you’re a good parent. Your toddler is a good child. You’re both doing your best!

Do you notice that your child is more likely to follow through on a limit when you create connection first? How do YOU do that?

🌟Have you heard about the Setting Limits With Confidence Workshop? In this two-part workshop, you'll learn how to set limits and follow through,
even if your toddler says “No”! It's designed to transform your relationship with setting limits so you can be effective and feel confident and ease some of the struggles of toddlerhood!🌟

🌟We are our own worst critics.🌟The judgment ...

May 14

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🌟We are our own worst critics.🌟The judgment we’re so fearful of or the experiences we've encountered from our own parents oftentimes comes from within and can sometimes cloud our entire view of parenting. This disempowers you from being the best parent for your child, which you are! Your toddler loves you for exactly who they are!

When we are overtaken by fear, or comparison, or trying to measure up to standards outside of ourselves, we tell ourselves a lot of stories that feel true at the moment but aren’t. Comparison is the thief of joy. And the toddler years are full of joy! Trust me, you don’t want to waste another moment worrying about falling short of being the perfect Pinterest mom.

I invite you to remember, there are endless ways to be a good parent. You know yourself and your family best. You know what you need and what your family needs. Don’t let other people's opinions or generational patterns influence you to believe anything else.

If you could use more support in empowering your parenting and overcoming the challenges of parenting your toddler, tell me in the comments below!

Tag a friend who you think is a great mom.

🌟Are you curious about positive parenting, but don’t know where to start?Maybe you’re at your wit’s end and need to create change RIGHT NOW. Or maybe you just want to experience more confidence and joy in your parenting...check out the Toddler Parenting Starter Kit at the link in bio! In this 10-part video series (PLUS 3 bonuses!), you’ll learn the 10 core aspects of parenting toddlers for only $27.🌟

#toddler #toddlersofinstagram #toddlermom #toddlermomlife #toddlermeals #screentime #positiveparenting #montessori #toddlerhood #gentleparenting #momlife #dadlife #girldad #ftm #newmom #sahm #workingmom #wahm #momboss #momssupportingmoms #motherhoodunplugged #letthembelittle #parentingtips #montessoriathome #mindfulparenting #motherhoodrising #transformingtoddlerhood

WHICH TO-DO LIST CAN YOU RELATE TO?! ...

May 13

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WHICH TO-DO LIST CAN YOU RELATE TO?! 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷‍♂️

Oh, the ups and downs of toddlerhood...🥴

One minute they're asking for something and the next they're throwing the tantrum of the century. It's stressful and triggering to any parent or caregiver because we don't know what in the world is going on so IMAGINE what it's like being a toddler feeling all of these big, confusing feelings!

It's difficult to put ourselves in someone else shoes in any situation and when it comes to a crying toddler → who isn't developmentally capable of properly displaying emotions or understanding what they mean or controlling their impulses← it takes strength, patience, and compassion.

Here's a real-life example:
Your toddler asks to be held but cries when you go to pick them up. This could mean that your toddler is craving connection and thinks he wants Mommy's touch but when you approach him, he reacts. So you can draw the conclusion that what he may need is your attention in a non-physical way (moving closer to pick him up, like he's asking, while he's upset may make him feel overwhelmed). You can try getting down to eye level and saying "Mommy is here for you if you want a hug. I'll wait until you're ready." If he doesn't approach you then you can try to connect and give him attention in another way, like picking up a favorite toy or asking him to join in on a game/fort building/watching a show on the couch together.

The key 🗝 is to look deeper than the surface to figure out the need or reason for the behavior so you can help your toddler work through their emotions and get to a safe place to express their need or want. Connection is key, however, your toddler may need it in that moment!

So, which scenario resonates with you and your toddler?! Follow @transformingtoddlerhood for parenting support and toddler tips!

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#toddlermomlife #toddlermommy #toddlersofig #toddlerproblems #whining #toddlerantics #kidlife #toddlermoments #firsttimemama #tiredparents #parentingtips #reparenting #parentinghelp #parentingstruggles #coparenting #thisis3 #fouryearsold #twoyearsold #transformingtoddlerhood #positivediscipline #toddlerbites #positiveparenting

Your toddler is a unique individual learning what ...

May 11

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Your toddler is a unique individual learning what it means to be their own person.❤️

It's easy to forget when times are crazy and tensions are rising that their lack of brain development and maturation play a big role in their behavior. In fact, your toddler’s lack of impulse control and developmental needs are stronger than their ability to regulate their emotions and in turn their behavior. So they are not "misbehaving" on purpose, I promise you that!

When we think of discipline, it usually comes from the need to control the situation at hand, be it a screaming toddler, a block flying directly toward your face, or crying that seems to go on and on without a cause. Typically, we turn to discipline and punishments to stop the behavior that we see as "bad" and to feel a sense of control and calm.

The thing is, trying to control your child and create compliance will put you at odds with their developmental drive. And that only leads to confusion, conflict, lack of connection, and some pretty BIG feelings.

Control is an illusion. ✨ You cannot truly control another human being. When you make it your responsibility to control your toddler’s behavior, mood, feelings, and emotions, you will be more likely to blame yourself when things don’t go as you envisioned. However, you can influence your toddler. Influence is created through connection. The more influence you have the more cooperation and partnership you will be able to create. Which is the ultimate goal- to have a strong connection based on trust, safety, and unconditional love, even when faced with challenging behavior!

Do you struggle with not knowing what to do or how to respond to your toddler when you're faced with challenging behavior? What is your automatic response?

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#momminainteasy #toddlerantics #momproblems #momtips #parentingtips #parentingadvice #momstruggles #momprobs #raisingtinyhumans #scarymommy #mindfulparenting #peacefulparenting #positivediscipline #benicetoeachother #transformingtoddlerhood #bigemotions #bigfeelings #bigfeelingslittlebody

Toddlers are working on becoming their own person ...

May 10

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Toddlers are working on becoming their own person and they practice separating from their parents by saying No!

Responding to this challenging behavior can fall under two categories...limits and power struggles because a lot of times they're intertwined! And a toddler's lack of follow-through with limits often leads to a power struggle! 😅

Giving a toddler a choice is a great way to give them a sense of control to be independent (which they love, naturally) BUT the key is to do this within your boundaries.

Sometimes we add "ok?" to the end of statements or yes/no questions and unintentionally set ourselves up for a power struggle by giving them the option to say no when it actually WASN'T an option! And power struggles are what we always strive to avoid. This is true for simple things like taking a bath as well as more serious things like throwing toys or hitting.

Toddlers are wired to push back so the more WE push the more THEY push. This is the cycle of a power struggle. Instead of powering forward in a lose/lose power struggle, offer your toddler options within your boundaries. Give yourself a moment to pause and consider what you’re comfortable allowing and what 2 choices you can offer.

That way you are giving them the opportunity to exert their will and independence, and you are honoring your limits. Because when we as adults don’t feel respected, we begin to react defensively and become easily triggered.

So next time you're asking your child to do something or make a request, I invite you to try your very best to refrain from adding an "ok?" at the end or asking a yes/no question. Less opportunity for push back from toddler = happier mommy/daddy/grandparent/caregiver 😉 ❤️

Is this something you struggle with? Tag a friend who has a strong-willed toddler too!

➡️Toddlers are designed to push the limits and it's our job to clearly set them and follow through with kindness. So don't wait another day to learn how to set limits effectively and end the cycle of frustration, guilt, and second-guessing yourself! Go check out the Setting Limits With Confidence Workshop at the link in my bio.

#parentingtips #momtips #parentingtips #toddlertips

Shoutout to ALL of the hardworking, exhausted, and...

May 7

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Shoutout to ALL of the hardworking, exhausted, and brave parents and caregivers who are here looking for support. You are not alone in feeling all these things and more. Parenting is hard AND you are not a failure!

Toddlerhood has challenges that are unique. Your baby goes from happy-go-lucky to a strong-willed toddler seemingly overnight. All the friends and family who were so eager to come and hold your newborn are no longer offering their support as readily. It can leave some parents feeling isolated and as though it’s only your home that feels wild.

These are just a few of the most common feelings that clients from around the world share with me daily. The list goes on! Each family is unique and all challenges are met differently.

I want you to know:
❤️YOU ARE ENOUGH
❤️YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE HUMAN
❤️YOUR FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS DON'T MAKE YOU BAD OR WRONG
❤️YOU ARE NOT FAILING

Instead of beating yourself on the inside, I invite you to embrace what is. Acceptance without placing a good/bad judgment on it. You are allowed to be where you are at. Don’t forget to acknowledge your feelings, they’re valid! Having these feelings don’t make you weak, they make you human.

Next time you are feeling overwhelmed with parenting and life, I invite you to shift your mindset from I'm failing to I'M HUMAN AND I'M LEARNING.

Each day (and even every moment) is a new opportunity to learn, grow and take a step towards the future you envision as a parent. I empower you to step back and use the clarity to create something new where the old isn’t working. This could be asking a relative for babysitting support. Or rethinking the meal plan for the week. It could even mean trying a new approach if you realize something doesn't feel right or isn't resonating with your child.

🌟Tag a mama, dad, or another caregiver that needs this reminder and support today!!!

Are you hard on yourself when you get overwhelmed with parenting and life? Where could you create something new today?

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#toddlerhood #gentleparenting #momlife #dadlife #girldad #ftm #newmom #sahm #workingmom #wahm #momboss #momssupportingmoms #motherhoodunplugged #letthembelittle #parentingtips

DID YOU KNOW? Tantrums are a typical part of ...

May 5

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DID YOU KNOW? Tantrums are a typical part of toddler development and peak🎢 between 18 and 36 months!

However, knowing this doesn't really make it any easier to sit with a child's big feelings and emotions during a tantrum.

What makes it easier for me is thinking about tantrums as an emotional release. Tantrums allow toddlers to release the emotional pressure they build up. From this lens, every tantrum is an opportunity to support your child in learning emotional processing skills which eventually leads to your toddler being able to regulate their emotions on their own!

To move through a tantrum, it’s important to:
-Make sure your child is physically safe
-Hold space for and soothe their emotions
-Focus on keeping yourself calm and grounded
-Stay with your toddler or nearby
-Uphold limits you set

Embracing your child during the hard moments is the simplest form of showing your unconditional love. 💕 It can be all that’s needed to show them you’re connected, you’re there, and you love them no matter what.

Lots of parents ask me, "Well what about when my child throws a tantrum because they want something? They are conscious of what they are doing. Aren't they being manipulative?"

The answer is NO! It's important to remember that toddler behavior is in service of meeting their needs. SO this is your toddler being strategic in getting the needs and desires met. You ALWAYS have the option to set a limit and follow through while supporting your child through their big emotions.

Remember: Tantrums don’t make a child “bad” just as tantrums are NOT a reflection of your parenting. It’s not personal. It's your little one learning to navigate this world as they grow and develop.

Are tantrums your trigger? What support do you need around tantrums?

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#transformingtoddlerhood #toddlertantrum #toddlertantrums #toddlertips #parentingtips #toddlermomproblems #4yearsold #2yearold #toddlerproblems

Raise your hand if your child has bitten you or ...

May 4

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Raise your hand if your child has bitten you or another child and you're wondering why in the world this is happening!? 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♂️

Most children experiment with biting at one point or another and toddlerhood is a pretty common time for this behavior to surface. So if this has become a concern for you, you are not alone! For some kids, it even becomes a preferred tool for communication. 😬 The good news is that there are ways to reduce and, ultimately, eliminate biting (or hitting).

The first step for effectively addressing this challenge is to avoid calling or thinking of your child as a “biter”. I talk all the time about labels and how labeling children can actually lead to them taking on the identity assigned to them. Which in this case, can intensify biting behavior rather than eliminate it!

Next is to try your best to understand the underlying cause of the biting, that way it will help you develop an effective response. Children bite in order to cope with a challenge or fulfill a need. REMEMBER, all behavior is communication. If we only focus on shutting the behavior down we miss the message a toddler is trying to communicate. Swipe left to see a whole list of reasons why toddlers bite!

And finally, it's important to set limits around unsafe behavior. It's possible to validate your child's emotions while setting a limit on the biting. Setting the limit and redirecting the behavior won't end biting right away. Toddlers need a lot of reparation to develop impulse control to stop themselves from biting.

Tell me, are struggling with your toddler biting? How have you addressed it in the past? Has it gotten better or worse?

🌟 For more toddler tips follow @transformingtoddlerhood and check out the Setting Limits With Confidence Workshop at the link in my bio for ways to navigate challenging toddler behavior! 🌟

Transforming Toddlerhood Conference

Overcome toddlerhood challenges, nurture development and create confidence in your parenting skills.

Fifth Edition of the only online parenting event that focuses solely on the toddler years!

days of learning and growth with parents and caregivers

experts on toddler behavior, development, health and parenting

effectiveness tools and strategies to transform your parenting

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